Here's one

Pandora · **Posted:** Sun Jan 25, 2009 7:25 am

http://x6b.xanga.com/5fdc80724703122932 ... 641906.jpg
this is a picture of Mirravin I did on the computer. It's not very good but I'm rather proud of it.

Now, I've been pondering on wether I should use this scene in a book idea of mine or not, and don't call me a perv, some things can be very beautiful when shared between husband and wife. Plus I don't plan to go to the exteam with this so try not to get mad at me. Here goes nothing....

There she sat underneath the forbiden tree of souls. The raw beauty that could only embody the godess Mirravin. Her innocently lush figure seemed marbled in the shadows of it's branches.She lay in the lush, green grass that grew between the great tree's roots. Flate on her belly, with her red tipped fox tail swishing back and forth across her lower torso.

Twitling her long whitesilver hair between her fingers. Her passionate blue eyes glittered as she watched the strip of hair in her hand waggle back and forth. Making it oviouse she had something entirly diffrent on her mind. If that wasn't oviouse enough she'd sat there in noting but her bare skin, hoping Maryin would soon come to look for her there.He was her husband after all,and she'd been longing for attention for quite a while.

Still absorbed in her own thoughts, she'd almost barly noticed the warmth of someones hand gently stroke up and down her back and between her feathery wings. Suddenly spoked by this she quickly turned to see Maryin looking back at her. His emerald eyes full of mischief.

Wordlessly as if reading her mind he, leaned forward and kissed the base of her neck sending tingles down her spine. Then while still kissing the back of her neck he grasped her delicate shoulders with his massive golden hands, and with the gentalness of an angels touch he rubbed the inside of her shoulders. Mirravin sucked in a breath of air, and let out a sigh of pure longing before she even begain to relize she had.

Pretending he'd not noticed Maryin went a little further,and begain to lovingly stroking her spine. After a short time it just became too much to bare, and Mirravin let out a small hammper moan. Maryin chuckled at her aproval and moved on to the lower part of her back. kissing the grove in her back and running his fingers back and forth around the curves of her hips and thighs.

"oh, you give such good back rubbs. I wouldn't mind if you'd just rub my back all day." Mirravin spoke so softly that if maryin hadn't the hearing of a wolf he would have never heard her speak at all. With that he flopped down beside her and rest his head in the crook of her shoulder. Still keeping one hand busy on her back.

"Heh, but there are so many other things to do besides getting back rubs, My Sweet. There's no need to keep up such an innocent act when you know, that I know what you are really thinking. Why don't we retire to our room to spend some more quality time together?" He whipspered in a caniving yet charming tone.

Mirravin giggled softly and turned to face him, and the sparkle she saw in his eyes made her hunger even greater than before. Slowly she drew in closer. Soaking in the moment like an overly dry spounge.
"Why not right here?" she teased, and gave him a soft peck on the lips.

He chuckled again and shook his head.
"Silly Fox pup, Our children visit these gardens often. As do many of your play thi- friends. Do you really want any of them to walk in on such a privite afair? " he quickly pointed out.
"I, weeell, I suppose that wouldn't be very nice....." Before she could begen to finish speaking Maryin grasped her body even closer to his and gave her a very long,deep,passionate kiss.

Mirravin quivered with anticipation, and wraped her arms helplessly around his torso. Every inch of her body tingling with a mingle of love and desire. Still locked in this kiss the two vanished from the garden. Only the folded down grass remained as proof that they'd laid there only moments before.

Meanwhile Adzandra stood at the castle gates wondering if it would be rude for her to just casualy let herself in. After all the issue she needed to adress was a very pressing one.

To be continued..........

Jishdefish · **Posted:** Tue Jan 27, 2009 1:13 pm

Wow, is Azandra a perv, watching the whole thing? Jeez. I wouldn't mind reading this book, given the whole thing isn't this... romantic.

Kojack · **Posted:** Tue Jan 27, 2009 1:36 pm

Nice, very nice and the picture is great despite what you think.

Blue Tiger · **Joined:** Sun Feb 18, 2007 6:16 am **Posts:** 443

I love the picture, its very good, if I have time, ill read your poem and comment on it...

Falconer · **Posted:** Fri Jan 30, 2009 3:14 pm

Whoa...

Don't take this personally, but if I read that type of book opening in B&N I'd probably put it down. Very well written though, and kudos for the picture.

Corva · **Joined:** Tue Jul 18, 2006 3:05 pm **Posts:** 1657

Quote:

Wow, is Azandra a perv, watching the whole thing? Jeez. I wouldn't mind reading this book, given the whole thing isn't this... romantic.

Azandra doesn't sound like a perv, because from where she is it's highly unlikely she can actually see anything but the castle gates.

I'd have to agree with Falconer. The opening sets the whole scene for a book (unless it's a series, in which case the opening of the first book sets the whole scene for the series), so an opening like that would drive people who might like most of the book away. For a segmant of a chapter it wouldn't be too bad, in fact it would probably be good. Just not as the opening scene.

Pandora · **Posted:** Fri Jan 30, 2009 6:55 pm

As dragonrider said she's sitting at the castle gates. She can't exactly see anything from there.

thanks everyone.

anywho,
it's actuly the begening to a chapter in a book I'm writing, but it's not the first chapter no. I wouldn't start a book with such a permiscous scene like that. Although I'm wondering wether it would be too outragous for something as sugestive as that to be kept in my book since not a lot of people apreciate reading things like it. I just think it adds to the characters in the story.

Corva · **Joined:** Tue Jul 18, 2006 3:05 pm **Posts:** 1657

Don't put it at the start of a chapter. Have you read a book where they have sections in chapters seperated by blank lines? For instance:

Rask stood below the tree, watching the birds nest above him. Finally he turned to his companion. "We should really be going, before it gets to dark" his companion said.
"No, wait a few more minutes," Rask replied, his eyes out of focus. "Just a few more minutes..." his voice trailed off.

A continent away, Raler was preparing for a funeral. It had been hard since the plague had struck. It had killed most of the population, and driven the rest to seek sanctuary in the main city. Unfortunately, in those conditions the plaque spread easily.
"Don't go!" a voice said from nowhere. "If you do, you'll catch it as well."

Falconer · **Posted:** Sat Jan 31, 2009 4:59 pm

You have to indent, too. So long as the sections aren't too short, that will work.

This sort of scene is, like you said, all right between a husband and wife. That doesn't mean it should be written down. Think about if you were... passing time... with someone and a camera crew came in.

Corva · **Joined:** Tue Jul 18, 2006 3:05 pm **Posts:** 1657

How many camera crews randomly wander around everywhere and let themselves into peoples houses?

Falconer · **Posted:** Thu Feb 05, 2009 4:14 pm

You'd be surprised.

Here's one

Who is online